Tuesday Therapy

Today I’m feeling a bit shitty. No real reason for this other than it’s a Tuesday. So I thought what better way to cheer myself up than let some stuff out!

The pressure of settling down, getting married and having children had never really been there until the past year or so of my life. My parents and grandparents have all had long and happy lives together and I’m starting to wonder, is that for me? Will it ever happen? Is that what I really want? I don’t know the answer to any of these questions. Yes, I would like it, but I guess it’s not something you can force. I am very fortunate to have been brought up in a happy, loving family but will I continue that trend? I currently feel trapped, I’m happy but is happy enough sometimes?

I always thought I would be married by 26 and having babies by my age now. Obviously, this hasn’t happened. But how different could my life have been. I look at others that are settling down and I do think how pleased I am to be by myself sometimes. Don’t get me wrong, I would love to have someone to go home to in the evenings to talk about my day to, to unload my problems and to snuggle on the sofa in front of crappy TV. But I am fortunate enough to be able to book on a holiday without having to worry about childcare commitments, eat what I like for dinner, lock my front door and ignore the world, sit in my pants watching re-runs of the Kardashians (I have yet to find a partner that will willingly watch this trash with me!)

Really is the single life such a bad thing, is it just society putting uneccesary pressure on people to settle down making us singletons feel depressed about being single? I was reading an article this morning about women in their 20’s freezing their eggs in case they leave it too late to have children. This is scary! I understand that there are issues here, people are leaving it longer and longer to start a family (my parents were just 24 and 26 when they had me, my grandparents were even younger when starting). I would like to think that most semi-intelligent 20 somethings are aware of the risk of leaving it later and later. Can we blame the media for scaremongering us into popping them out or should we thank the media for creating awareness. Sadly I don’t have a spare £4K knocking around to be able to justify this so I guess I will just have to put my faith into my biological clock (which going on family history, isn’t the strongest).

Perhaps I should focus on whatever makes me happy at this current moment in time. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn’t, at least make sure I have a bloody good time along the way. Worst comes to worst, I get more cats and become ‘that lady’.

But in the meantime, apparently it’s #nationalrumday today, so I’m off out dressed up, to drink some rum this evening, and luckily for me, I don’t have to check with a significant other if this is ok. Just me and my BFF having a great time and probably a very bad hangover in the morning…